Thankful

So cliche, I know, but as I was out yesterday braving the crazy lines at Publix, ( I forgot bread, ugh!), I was making a mental list of what I was thankful for this year. This year of course is so different then last year. I still find myself staring in a daze from time to time when I try to comprehend everything that happened this year. Still, what is done is done and in spite of it, I am here.

I am thankful for the little things, you know, the ones you take for granted. I am thankful for the endless hugs and kisses that my kids have waiting for me at any given moment. I am thankful for the way Samuel's nose feels pressed up against my face when he kisses me goodnight. I am thankful that there is never a night my head hits the pillow without my husband's arm around me. I am also thankful he has his own comforter so he no longer hogs the covers from me. ( He will tell you that I am really the blanket stealer. It is all lies!)

I am thankful for friendships. Without them I would be lost. I am thankful for old friends and for the new friendships I have developed over these last nine months. I can't believe the number of people that have come into my life and how fortunate I am to be their friend. My life long friends have cried with me, cried for me, and have never asked me to justify or explain myself. They have been so much more then just ears to listen or shoulders to cry on, they have been life lines. My new friends have greatly enriched my life and brought out a new person in me by inviting me into their lives. I cannot imagine all the fun and laughter I would have missed out on had I never met them.

I am thankful for having the peace that surpasses all understanding. Losing a child isn't peaceful, but knowing that baby is in heaven is. I find comfort in knowing that that baby is with my grandparents, with my husband's father, and more importantly with God.

I am thankful for new beginnings because we get one each day. It doesn't have to take losing a baby, a loved one, or a devastating event to have a second chance. Each day is our second chance. We are never guaranteed to have another so take what is given to you.

So, while the holidays this year are slightly bitter sweet, they are more sweet than bitter. While a hole in my heart still lingers, the strength from my husband, the laughter of my children, the love of my friends, and the grace of God,  make that hole ever less painful.