Eat, Pray, Love.....Thanks but I Think I'll Just Eat

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me". 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)


It was immediately following my return home when an old addiction resurfaced. I am not too proud to admit it. After all, even prayer couldn't help this craving. That is right, my addiction to peanut butter M&M's was back! Sales clerks at Walgreens and CVS knew me by name. I am sure eventually a poster with my picture was posted behind the counter. I was clearing out their shelves on a regular basis and it was bad for business. And no, I was not buying the single serving bags. I was only interested in the Family size bags.


Leaving the house and socializing was nearly impossible for me so Richard found himself taking the kids to karate, church, and parties by himself. One particular Sunday when everyone was gone, I turned on Netflix. It is rare that I get a chance to pick out my own movie. I planned to savor the moment. I scrolled and scrolled through the movies and then hit one that I had heard everyone rave about, "Eat, Pray, Love". In fact, I think Oprah devoted a whole show to this " must see movie". I thought to myself this is exactly what I need. This movie will be the inspiration that I need to move forward, to be able to feel like I am living again, to be able to at least be around people. So, I cuddled up on the couch with a blanket and my M&M's.


If you haven't seen the movie, the short story is that a middle aged woman seeks to find herself after a divorce that she initiated. She left all she had behind to travel for eighteen months. She went to Rome (Italy), Pataudi (India), to pray, and Bali (Indonesia) to love ( Note, this part I liked because I am always a sucker for a happy ending). Aside from the movie being slow there were a few things that really bothered me ( aside form the fact I cannot eat pasta....what would I even do in Italy???). I expected this movie to inspire me. I thought after this movie I would be energized to move forward and get past this funk I was in. It didn't happen. I was annoyed that I spent two hours of my life watching a movie that taught me nothing, or so I thought.

The movie actually got me wondering why every movie that tells a story a woman going through a traumatic life changing event, shows the character leaving everything behind to "go find herself". Why does healing have to be found half way around the world eating fettuccine or embracing a new religion? How unrealistic it is for "real" people who have families they love and a life that they want to have to just up and leave for a while to find themselves. What is realistic is that like most moms I am lucky to have five minutes to myself each day. Those 5 minutes are usually spent in the shower. At night I am usually so tired I collapse soon after the kids go to bed. Reality is that I have a husband and four little lives who depend on me to keep it together and keep moving forward. I will not be jet setting anytime soon to find myself in Italy.

I do not think I have ever seen a book written or a blockbuster movie that shows anyone searching to healing from their maker. Is the bible not the owners manual for our lives? I know that I often find myself looking elsewhere and have to bring myself back to the one reliable source. Perhaps we get discouraged by God and "his timing" so we resort to far less reliable methods like the latest Self Help books, movies, or traveling around the world

Someone recently said to me, " I did everything right, I do not know why God let me get here. He promises to get us through hard times and instead things seems to get worse". God doesn't promise to "get us through" tough times. His Word promises to SEE us through. He promises to be with us during times of tribulation. We see these times as trials, but what they really are, are times of grace. They are times for us to learn to lean on him and to grow.

The growth during these times doesn't have to happen immediately. Sometimes we simply need to be held until we can begin to move forward. It is during this time that God draws closer. "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

My favorite song is by Natalie Grant it is titles "Held". The lyrics are below.

Two months is too little,
they let him go
They had no sudden healing
To think that providence
Would take a child from his mother
While she prays, is appalling
Who told us we'd be rescued
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares
We're asking why this happens to us
Who have died to live, it's unfair
This is what it means to be held
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held

This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held
If hope if born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait for one hour
Watching for our Savior
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held.